Adulting is …. exhausting. Sure, it’s got its perks. We can pick our own bedtime. Control the TV remote. Eat an entire box of Ding Dongs. We only have ourselves to answer to for the choices we make, the consequences of which we are mostly the only ones to have to experience.
When it comes to emotions, though, the choices we make in engaging, reacting and just plain feeling impact not just ourselves but those around us — our spouses, kids, friends, coworkers, neighbors, strangers — when it comes to emotions, more often than not, there’s more than one person on the receiving end of your reaction to something.
As human beings, we all are emotional creatures. Some of us more so than others. And while I have yet to read Ethan Kross’ book, “Chatter,” I was drawn to pick up his latest, “Shift” in part because of the day and age we find ourselves in and wanting to explore additional methods to understand, engage with and appropriately address emotional reactions to just about everything going on in my life.
“Shift” is a great personal growth read for a couple of reasons —one, it’s a tight 200 pages or so, and two, Kross has created an engaging narrative using storytelling to explain emotions and how to employ certain tools to interact and move through them. (Three of the more powerful examples include frequent mentions of his grandmother, who survived in the Holocaust; a fire aboard the space station; and a Navy SEAL describing the variety of torture-like experiences he endured as a part of training.)
Also? The tools he talks about — shifting from the inside out (zooming back to see the bigger picture), shifting from the outside in (addressing perspective in any given situation) and shifting by design (using “if/when” to establish emotional protocols) — aren’t necessarily new paradigms, but crucial concepts to bring to the table when confronting how a person deals with emotion. The concepts of distanced self-talk and reframing emotionally charged conversations are included here not because they are novel but rather because they are well-tested, solid methods by which a person can work themselves out of an emotional rut.
As we head into graduation season, “Shift” could be a great grad gift alongside the go-to “Oh The Places You’ll Go!” Not as whimsical, I know — but post-Covid, my guess is more and more young adults who spent some of their most formative years stuck inside a Zoom box could use a quick refresher on feelings before starting their next adventure, personally or professionally.
LitzyDitz 