Going Perimenopause Gonzo Is a Thing, For Sure, But This Was Something Else: All Fours by Miranda July

I just … wow.

A good friend of mine texted me a few weeks back and asked if I had read Miranda July’s “All Fours” yet. “Have you read this? It’s super crazy,” she wrote. I asked if it was good, and she responded, “Interesting. Weird sex stuff. Kind of like watching a train wreck. It’s good. I could see the movie version.”

Now that I’ve read it, that text conversation is actually a pretty spot on summation.

“All Fours” is absolutely interesting. It absolutely is like watching a train wreck. There is definitely some very weird sex stuff. And I really could see an adaptation of this.

Our protagonist in this 2024 novel is a 45-year-old artist wallowing a bit in her very safe family unit that consists of her husband, Harris, and a nonbinary child, Sam. (Don’t ask me if she has a name, she never gives it up. It plays into the overarching theme of self-discovery.) It appears that while she loves being part of a family, she doesn’t always want to play an active role in it. It’s a safe space, but not an exciting one.

Fairly early on, she plans a cross-country driving trip to NYC, from California, as a way to convince herself that life is still something. Familial depression runs in the family and she’s just trying to stay ahead of it.

And this is where it goes off the rails. And where it parks itself in a cheap hotel room for almost three weeks. And completely, professionally, redecorates it. And has a not-really-consummated-but-yeah-emotionally-consummated bizarre affair with the decorator’s husband. Think Saltburn but next-level Saltburn. Just OUT there.

I know that there isn’t a singular experience when it comes to menopause. I for one was challenged with many, many hot flashes. The mood swings. Lots and lots of anxiety. Anxiety that has claimed squatter’s rights on my brain and continues to live there rent-free. That said, I’m not sure many women, or even one besides this protagonist, has gone to these lengths to metamorphize.

While there are many, many “WTF did I just read?” moments — enough that I texted the same friend and asked if this was going to be like “Nightbitch” and should I just abandon it now, I am glad I didn’t because while it’s absolutely bonkers it is also very entertaining. You are going to want to know what happens next. Whether that’s with Harris, Davey, Audra, Kris, Jordi, and so on. I loved the idea of open sourcing experiences, as if to say we women are all on the same ride but we each get a different view.

For all the crazy, it’s also hopeful. Encouraging. And an homage to the idea that family isn’t a noun, it’s a verb. And everyone does it differently.

Is this a book club read? There is MUCH to dissect, so by all means, yes. But you need to know your club. If you’ve got some members that squirm at graphic sex scenes, or heck the idea of a “gray labia,” they may want to skip a round. July does not pull punches with her writing.

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